These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize