the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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