STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
