Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
