Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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