if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
