there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
