I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
