tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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