I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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