I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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