My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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