May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
