how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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