I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
