He uses pillows to masturbate.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
