To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
