Taylor Swift is so right about you.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh