hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?