This is not my ceiling
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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