It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
