Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize