he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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