God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
