The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
