Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
