My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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