we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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