they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
