it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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