these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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