I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
