I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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