He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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