he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
