Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
