Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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