My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
