is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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