YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
