Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
the raccoons are back...
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