Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
