The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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