Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i think i just lost a toe
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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