He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
