Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
