Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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