It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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