I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
