i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
