Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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