ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
