So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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