I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
