I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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