I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
