White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
