Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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