Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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